I'm One of the Outsiders

Shortfalls of little sins/Close calls and no one wins/Stand tall but running thin/I’m wearing thin 
Oh, why are we keeping score?/Cause if you’re not laughing,/Who is laughing now? 
I’ve been wondering/If we stop sinking/Could we stand our ground? 
And through everything we’ve learned/We’ve finally come to terms/We are the outsiders. 


- Needtobreathe


This song sums up what's been going on for me spiritually since the last post. I'm keeping up with things, but just barely. I am in this world, but definitely not of it. I am an Outsider. Needless to say, I will try to not to take a full load of credits ever again. 


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Narrative record of a practice session


Background information: juries are fast-approaching, and the pianist is short on time for memorization. There is only one piece that doesn't need to be memorized; one out of 13 movements of music; 45 seconds out of 10 minutes. That leaves a lot to be memorized. A fearful lot when one doesn't have a photographic memory.


8:34 PM
The pianist begins with Chopin's Prelude 17. They get the whole way through, pretty much. There are some hiccups, but they can be fixed. The pianist starts to play again and realizes the first section is getting mixed up with the last. NOT GOOD. Pianist takes a break to run to the water fountain. Since said pianist's keys are locked in the dorm room, the pianist is very hungry and thirsty. Unfortunately the roommate won't be back for quite a while. *sigh*


We left the pianist meandering the practice hall, peeking in windows and stretching. The urge to stop and look at Bach's family tree is not obliged. The pianist darts into a free practice room that contains a favorite piano and starts the Chopin. It's still mixed up. Botheration. Pianist returns to previous practice room and picks up laptop, determined to listen to something inspiring and non-melancholy to counteract the Chopin. Ah, Danzon #2 by Arturo Marquez. Nice. 


Now the pianist is going to resist the longing to continue writing here until some progress is made. 


-practicing-


8:56
Another try. Maybe memorizing the chord names will help?


-practicing-


9:12
Somewhat. Saga continues.


-practicing-


9:23
Pause to e-mail advisor course plan.
Checks Blackboard for stats test grade. *urgh*. It's still not posted.


-practicing-


9:43
Hurray. Now there's only this tiny bit at the end that won't self-iron. But now this piece can't be played any more for fear of wearing it out, so the pianist picks something else. Hmmmm.......Bach. The piece that doesn't have to be memorized. 


-practicing-




Belay that. Water break.


-practicing-


10:19
Definite progress is made. Tiredness is pretty low. Hunger level is at the distracting point. Time for sit-ups.


-practicing-


10:39
Practice must end, otherwise sleep will be inadequate in preparation for test at 10:00 in the morning. Good news: if I pass the test, I won't have to report to music theory class for the rest of the semester. 


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This has been a presentation by "Writing in Third Person". Hopefully it wasn't too annoying. I don't blame you if you skipped most of it, honestly. :)


~Halifirien Pilgrim