She Sighed

About the dearth of posts: It was an awful summer, especially after that post in June. Enough said.

About the title: She Sighed is a song title and it fits the day.
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I am not in the best mood and feel like I need to reinforce some personal quality that I like about myself. Yes, really selfish, so just skip this post. It's mostly for my own therapeutic use.

I can almost always find two ways to look at a situation. Take this: I've been so stressed that yesterday I  stripped my fingernails of their white-trimmed glory. This summer I really worked hard to resist damaging them, and I succeeded. Well, except for one nail here and there, but it was usually because I hit it and it broke. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless, and a victory I could see and touch and decorate.

Now it's gone, an addition to the mounting frustration threatening to cause some major change.

But there is a flip-side to this. Now that my fingernails are short, I won't be nagged by my teachers to cut them! They weren't actually getting in the way,  but my viola teacher was suspicious. This is one of the times I wish I was a vocal major. They can grow their fingernails out, style their hair down, and wear whatever clothes or jewelry they like (within reason). Not violists or pianists, no sir. We can't wear large rings, anything with a substantial collar or neck, earrings, watches, bracelets, the list goes on.


Whoops. I meant to turn that into a happy paragraph. Oh well. I'm still happy my teachers won't be able to bug me. There. Now I'm thinking positively again. :)

Assets and Targets

  

      For the last two weeks me and my sister have been playing viola in the pit orchestra for a summer music theatre’s production of South Pacific. It’s been exciting, challenging, and exhausting, but since most of the shows are at night, we have the days pretty much to ourselves. Unfortunately, the shows end at 11pm, which means I just start to wind down at midnight. My sister can fall asleep as soon as she changes out of her concert black, but I can’t. I haven’t quite figured out why this is, but it may be that I naturally sleep in if the night goes that long. It may also be that because I’m the older one, I have more responsibility in making sure everything is okay before I go to bed. I’m much more likely to wake up at a sound during the night than she is, and I think it’s because I feel responsible for her. I am,  and I fine with it, but I didn’t completely realize how different it is going from being a lone traveler to having someone dependent on you.
    This time with my sister has also made me realize how much of a home schooled country girl I was before I started college. Some of the adjustments she has had to make I also had last year, such as walking on sidewalks, weird as it may sound. Being a psychology geek, I want to take a side trip and dissect that action into sub-actions.
    First, we have the tactile sense: the feel of the concrete, how much traction your shoes have, how much push is required to walk.
    Second, vision: spotting holes, bumps, the edge of the sidewalk, or oncoming people or cars.
    Third, social: which side of the sidewalk to move to when passing a person going the opposite direction, what level of greeting to use if you see someone you know approaching (“Hi, how are you?”, “Hey”, or just a smile), what to do when a group of people is blocking the way, how close behind someone you can walk, and how to walk with a group of friends.
    And then there are little things, like what kind of walkway gets slippery when wet, and gauging how much time you have to cross the street before you get squashed like a little bug.
    That’s only the beginning. I won’t go into door-opening etiquette (which is different depending on where you live), or getting used to florescent lighting (igggg), and carrying a phone and key with you at all times (easily forgotten). But I will say that I really admire my sister for adapting so quickly and well to all that was thrown at her these past two weeks. As I type this, she is heading down to the gym BY HERSELF. Quite a big step considering she had to force herself to come here with me in the first place. It’s great for me too, because I got to be with her and have her as a roommate. Lots of talking and bonding time. I think we’re finally entering that stage people tell me about where siblings become best friends after years of friction. Thank You, LORD!
    I’ve been thinking recently about all the assets I have on my side. They are quite numerous when added together, and considering them helps to keep my focus on hitting the targets God has placed in my life. I tend to get discouraged when people and situations don’t change, especially when I see that the underlying issue is a case of ignoring God and trying to live without Him. I want to weep at all the wasted time and effort and grief Man goes through for naught.
    And then, like a bolt of lightning illuminating the face of the King of the Universe for all to see, one of His own shouts a praise that lifts the hearts of His children. This time, it was the girl who plays Nellie Forbush in South Pacific. My aunt came to see the show and told us that during the bows, the actress lifts her hands and says “Glory to God!”. She also references Psalm 104:33 in her bio.

    I love it when Christians are gracefully public in their allegiance to the LORD.
 It reminds me to do like the Newsboys song says: "Shine. Make 'em wonder what you've got. Make 'em wish they were not on the outside looking in". That's my target and I'm sticking with it.

Transitions

Freshman year: done.

Hold on while I go run around the lake a couple times in utter, joyous exhilaration. (Side note: it took me three tries to spell exhilaration correctly. *sigh* Apparently four days without school and I'm already losing knowledge). 

It strikes me how important transitions can be in certain periods of our lives. When a gradual transition isn't possible, the result is either high stress or a better result because I didn't have time to worry. So, how am I transitioning into summer?

By working, using up my hours in the conservatory office. I had three days at home before I was back at school, haha. It would have been nice to be at home this week, but I'm staying with one of the ladies from the office. She and her husband have a beautiful house beside a marvelous lake. To top it off, her husband loves to cook! I had a cornish hen, brown rice, and corn on the cob for dinner. Right now, I'm watching a cake show on TLC. I feel like I'm already on vacation.

The sad thing is that I'll only have one day at home before we're on the road again. Friday I work in the office, Friday night I work at a dress rehearsal for a dance concert, then I drive home for some sleep. Saturday morning my whole family leaves at 7:20 a.m. to go pack meals at church. After that we leave for the beach.

Hopefully sometime this summer I'll just...relax.

But why would I want that? Hahahahahaha.

Happy summer!