I'm in another one of those times when God doesn't feel very...close. Yes I do my usual time with Him, so we are in contact, but there's just something different. Maybe it's comparable to the transition time a soldier has to got through when the firing ceases and you find yourself somewhere peaceful. After all that commotion and pain, which for me really picked up pace about a year ago, what do you do when allowed to rest? And what do you do if you're not entirely sure if you made a Christ-honoring impact?
"Be still, and know that I am God".
Psalm 46:10 keeps echoing in my mind. I imagine God watching me run around down here with "so much to do" and "so little time". He must get a lot of laughs out of the spectacle. He probably also gets tired of trying to talk to me when I have my head stuck in a book, or a tv show, or a game. Being still is only half of what He asks. The second part requires thought, careful consideration, effort.
But alas, I must now return to studying the wonders of the human body and exceptional children. So far A&P is winning in the interest category. My music therapy classes and experience have already covered much of the other class's material, which is actually quite a blessing. One of my summer jobs involves playing in a pit orchestra. Just a warning to anyone out there who may be considering it: learning how to play keyboard (read: synthesizer) for a musical theatre production when you've been classically trained all your life is like learning to drive stick while you race other drivers. It's not just your life at stake; people are relying on you! So between Legally Blonde and A&P, not much else gets done. Thankfully I can walk to the theatre, which is at my school, so I am not wasting away.
Two funny things related to that before I go: the first time I walked there it started raining as soon as I stepped out the door. It was so exciting. No really! Yay for High Sierra backpacks (which can hold all my A&P books, a full Camelbak water bottle, Macbook, and lunch, btw) and the bright yellow rain skirt built into the bottom of mine! And huzzah for rainbows, too. One appeared right before I got back to my apartment. Definitely a God thing. And what was the other funny thing...oh.
Ha. After a couple treks I figured out how to avoid all but one crosswalk, but when I got there it took forever. I noticed that the walkman going the other way lit up, which was weird. Finally I checked out the post with the buttons and found out I pushed the wrong one. But the good thing about intersections is that normally people don't stick around too long, which means little embarrassment for me! Until I posted it. Well then.
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Good things I found:
The BBC version of Sherlock Holmes. By far the best I've seen, and jolly good music too. PBS.org lets you watch season 2 for free until 6/19.
Spotify: free music streaming! (There's a pattern here...).
Radiolab. My top favorite science podcast, tied for first place overall with Allistair Begg's Truth For Life, which is also great.
in the midst of passing bravery , in the face of our own injuries, is the constant generosity of grace. It's the beauty in the tales we tell, it's the pressing on and ending well , it's the joy that comes when we give our self away ~Sara Groves
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
ReplyDelete(Philippians 4:11-13)
Good post. I thought of the above verse because of what you said about your relationship with God feeling different after the previous months of hardship. Paul figured out how to remain balanced even when circumstances weren't. If only we could to. For me, it will be so easy to spend time pressing into God and reading my Bible when life is a wreak. Then, things start going better and I realize "I haven't prayed all day...". When before it would be the FIRST thing I did. because I needed to so badly. Yet, the need is still there, even in the abundant highpoint. I just don't recognize it as such.
Praying for you <3